| figment.... no more |
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| 06:58am 06/09/2004 |
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mood:  dreams
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The rain, it started tapping on the window near my bed. There was a loophole in my dreaming,
so I got out of it. And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open.
Just my nightstand and my dresser where those nightmares had just been.
So I dressed myself and left then, out into the gray streets.
But everything seemed different and completely new to me.
The sky, the trees, houses, buildings, even my own body.
And each person I encountered, I couldn't wait to meet.
I came up a doctor who appeared in quite poor health.
I said "(I am terribly sorry but) there is nothing I can do for you
(that) you can't do for yourself."
He said "Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help."
So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt.
He said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure of it.
Thank you Stranger, for your therapeutic smile."
So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone.
And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow.
But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself.
It is best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or simple song of hope.
That is why I'm singing...
Baby don't worry cause now I got your back. And every time you feel like crying,
I'm gonna try and make you laugh. And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad,
then we will wait for it to pass and I will keep you company
through those days so long and black.
And we'll just keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve of Love's uneven remainders,
our lives are fractions of a whole.
But if the world could remain in a frame like a painting on a wall.
Then I think we would see the beauty.
Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges,
like a story told by the fault lines and the soil. |
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(4 stays | gold) |
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| IM FUCKING FREE |
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| 06:40am 05/09/2004 |
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mood:  LOL music: THAT FAN! GODDAMN ITS LOUD ITS LIKE MY REQUIM!
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OK TODAY I SOLVED ALL MY PROBLEMS #1ME, MY SIKCKNESS AND THOSDE WIRED FUCKING BUMPS ON MY ARM! (INSOMNIA IM NOT WORRYED ABOUT I THINK TO MUCH NO MEDICATION WILL EVER FIX THAT AND TRUST ME THEY HAVE FUCKING TRIED THATS WHY STARTING TODAY IM WEENING MY SELF OFF ALL THAT SHIT!) OK THE SICKNESS AND BUMPS ARE DUE TO MY LIFE STYE SEE I FIGURED IT OUT OK OK I STARTED GETTING THE BUMPS AND THE SICKNESS WHEN I STOPPED TALKING TO MY DAD LOL WELL SEE I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE OF DEPPRESSION NO! ITS FUCKING DIET SEE MY MOM IS NEVER HOME I LOVE HER TO DEATH BUT SHE IS NEVER FUCKING HOME SO THERES NEVER ANY FOOD IN THE HOUSE AND THE HOUSE IS NEVER FUCKING CLEAN I MEAN I TRY BUT IM NO MARTHA STEWERT AND WE HAVE A DOG AND 2 CATS (SO I GET FUCKING ALLERGYS OH YEAH AND IM SUPPOSED TO BE ON ALLERGY MEDICINE BUT MY MOMS TO BUSSY TO PICK IT UP AND IT TAKES TOMUCH TIME TO CALL THE DOCTOR!) OK OK SEE AT MY DADS ALL I HAD TO EAT WAS WHOLE FOOD AND I WAS AS STRONG AS AN OX ON THAT ORGANIC SHIT AND I WOULD OLWAYS EAT AT DADS BECAUSE MOM HAD NO FUCKING FOOD! SO I STOPPED EATING AT DADS MY MOMS LIKE OK HERE IS SOME PREE PAKAGED NEWAGE CHEMICAL MEAT SUBSTITUTES AND VEGITABLES SHE NEVER BUYS BECAUSE SINCE SHES NEVER AROUND SHE STILL THINKS IM 3 AND HATE VEGITABLES TOTALY NOT TRUE SO THE SWITCH IN DIET TOTALY EFFECTED MY BODY I MEAN IT ALL MAKES SENSE SO WHAT IM AM GOING TO DO IS EASY MOM OVIOUSLY HAS NO TIME TO KEEP A HOUSE SHE NEEDS TO RENT IT OUT AND GET A APARTMENT BECAUSE SHE CANT TAKE CARE OF IT THE DOG AND THE CATS NEED TO GO TO HER SISTER IN NORTH CAROLINA WERE THEY HAVE ROOM TO RUN AROUND AND NOT SIT IN THE HOUSE ALL DAY WAITING FOR MY MOM TO COME HOME FINALY AT 9PM TO L,ET THEM OUT AND MY AUNT DOSENT WORK SO SHE CAN TAKE THEM TO THE VET MY PETS ARE INFESTED WITH FLEAS! MY CAT LOST A KITTEN TO FLEAS THEY ATE IT TO DEATH:( NOLT FUCKING FAIR TO THEM! AND SHE NEEDS TO FIND A DIFFERENT FUCKING JOB I MEAN SHE CRYS EVERY NIGHT AND IM TIRED AND SAD AND ANGRY OF HEARING HER THEN GET RID OF BILL ! TWO WEEKS AGO SHE WAS TELLING ME HOW HE LIED TO HER AND CHEATED HER AND TOOK MONEY AND HAD A GAMBLING PROBLEM,DRINKING PROBLEM,DRUG PROBLEM!LOL AND HOW SHE WASENT GOING TO BE WITH HIM TILL HE WENT TO REHAB BUT AFTER 3 DAYS HE'S BACK LOL GOD MOM ARE YOU THAT AFRAID OF BEING ALONE! I SAT AND CRYED BY YOUR SIDE FOR THREE DAYS AND SOME HOW WITH IN A HALF OF A WEEK HE'S A CHANGED MAN IM TIRED OF HEARING THE SAME OLD STORY! ITS BEEN GOING ON FOR 10 YEARS AND IM TIRED OF IT THIS GUY IS INAND OUT OF ARE LIFES LIKE RON JERMYS BEEN IN AND OUT OF WOMEN!SO MOM HOW BOUT THIS SAY IT WITH ME KIDS ITS O.K TO.BE.ALO...NE TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOUR SELF AND NOT THREE DAYS MORE LIKE THREE MONTHS! AND MY DAD WELL HER FUCKED ME OVER AND RUINED MY LIFE I LOVE HIM BUT I DONT LIKE HIM AND ILL CALL HIM BUT IF HE WANTS TO SEE ME HES DOING THE WALKIN AND THE TALKIN IVE TRIED ITS HIS TURN! SO MY CURE GET OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSES GET OUT OF BOTH HOUSES!(I think my mom is a wonderful women but we are not go to change if i stay with her i wont let her get me so wrapped up in sucurity that i feal i need to stay with her for the rest of my life like my 28 year old uncle and my grandmom)HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS SHIT WELL SEE I NEED TO GET A REAL HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA(IN MY CASS GED)AND GET MY ASS TO ART SCHOOL GET TRAINED AT WHAT IM APARENTLY GOOD AT AND LEARN TO MAKE MONEY FROM IT IM NOT GOING TO LEARN THAT SHIT BY SITTING ON MY ASS AT HOME ALL DAY! ITS SCARY HELLZ YEAH ITS SCARY BUT I NEED TO GROW UP AND SOON NOT WHEN IM LIKE 40! SO GOALS BY JANUARY GET MY GED THEN APPLY TO LIKE EVERY FUCKING ART SCHOOL ON THE EAST COAST AND MAYBE ONE WILL ACCEPT ME ! GET INTO ONE OF THOSE PREE COLLEGE SUMMER PROGRAMS AND TELL MY DAD OFF TRY TO HELP MY MOM STRAIGHTEN SHIT UP BEFORE SHE ENDS UP LIKE THAT MOM FROM REQUIM FOR A DREAM! AND START A NEW LIFE WERE I MAKE SHIT HAPPEN NOT WAIT FOR MOMMY TO REACH OUT AND PAMPER ME WHEN SHES TO BUISSY WITH THE REST OF HER LIFE I HAVE A LIFE NOW ITS TIME I START LIVING MINE MINE AND HOPFULLY WORK ON ALL THE PROBLEMS I FACE WITH IN MY SELF NOW SO I DONT MAKE MY KIDS GO THROUGH THE SAME SHIT I DID! NOW THE HARD PART IS GETTING MY SELF OFF THIS COMPUTER AND GETTING STARTED! |
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(3 stays | gold) |
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| SEE IM TURNING I HAVE PROOF!!!! |
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| 03:06pm 03/09/2004 |
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Stage One: Infection. Symptoms of zombie infection appear quickly: within one or two hours, the victim will develop a headache, fever, chills and other flu-like symptoms. Zombie infections last about half as long as their vampiric counterparts, mostly between three and six hours, during which the vaccine is 100 percent effective.
this site will tell you everything you need to know if any of your loved ones are infected LIKE ME!!!!
http://www.fvza.org/zscience1.html |
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(1 stay | gold) |
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| word!! |
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| 12:34am 03/09/2004 |
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tonight was cool other then feeling like I'M MUTATING THE COMPANY ROCKED MY SOCKS ! i drew dani a picture and she liked it i felt super cool and got my computer to go wireless and and played with this chicks head ;) Hey hey she had a boy friend so i dont feel bad actualy i think its funny how i controled my whore like reflectes and fond out stuff that i normaly would have ignored and let pass its interesting how silly people can be about the who courtship thing expeacialy young people everythings so acward i think #1 PROBLEM WITH THIS SEX THING IS HONESTY if people were more honest then we would not have so many problems in All are relationships hell i know im guilty as charged! any way <3 everyone XOXOXOXOX0
ps. katie rocks my socks! |
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(gold) |
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| <3 |
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| 11:55am 02/09/2004 |
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ok ok hears the plizzans today im gettin my new phone!!!!
#(302) 563-3887
after nur drops off the junk i left in her dorm when i was helpin her decorate it then im getting my airport card from mom and meeting amber at the rugues den, then at around 3 im hangin with katie till around 5 when we go on a photo shot I WANNA DO GRAVE YARDS!!! then probly back to the den hang out and hit the sack |
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(1 stay | gold) |
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| ROCK DA HIZZOZ |
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| 01:33pm 19/08/2004 |
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mood:  IM SO GANSTA!!!! music: death cab for cutie
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I FuNd SpRaY PaInT!!!!!!!
and all the kings men said AHHHHH skeet skeet!!!!!!
Its funny how the littlest things can bring someone out of a depressed state!! OK ok WHO WANTS TO PAINT THE WORLd!!! |
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(4 stays | gold) |
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| kill Mtv |
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| 07:24pm 17/08/2004 |
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I NEED SPRAY PAINT!!!!!!.....
oh and jenn ill miss you! |
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(gold) |
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| LISTEN UP |
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| 12:08pm 14/08/2004 |
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IF YOUR READING THIS AND DONT LIKE THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING IN THE COUNTRY WE LIVE IN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE COMPLAINING IS PROBOBLY ONE OF THE SLOWEST WAYS TO CHANGE SOMETHING! SO IF YOU WANNA CHANGE THE WAY ARE COUNTRY IS RUN DO ME,YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE A FAVOR!
VOTE!!
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(1 stay | gold) |
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| I CREAMED MY PANTS WHEN I HEARD THIS! |
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| 12:02pm 10/08/2004 |
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mood:  excited music: THE AC
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Drade Kong Live (27/7)
Having emerged from the wondrous Kong Studios after the band kept me tied up in one of the back rooms, I can confirm that they have been working hastily on their comeback album, which shall be universally released sometime in early 2005 from what they tell me. So prepare your Christmas stockings because Santa's going to be bringing a belated present this year... Hail Santa!
I've heard bits and pieces of the album and it's no small secret that all of those celebrity parties have started to pay off... Gorillaz have harvested the talents of those who hail all over the world, be it the Isle of Wight or Brooklyn, whether they buzz round the honeycombs or scamper from cats or be they bionic beings of Art-Official Intelligence, they're all lining up to work with The Great Gorillaz.
From what I hear, they're even lining up a tour to bring Gorillaz back to the masses to support this new album (which, by the way, I've heard in its current state and I tell you it's bumping). You all know how those record labels work |
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(gold) |
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| NEW JOURNAL!!! |
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| 01:09am 08/08/2004 |
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mood:  awake music: BRIGHT EYES
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"From A Balance Beam"
There is a man holding a megaphone, so he must have been the voice of God.
The bystanders claimed they saw angels flying up and down the block.
Well, they must have been attached to wires. I saw one laying in the lawn with a broken arm,
so I called 911. So that is one less founded opinion. One more cause for a dispute.
So the street filled, like a basin, up with cameras and their crews
and they washed away the rumors leaving just the concrete truth. It was a spectacle.
No, I mean a miracle. So then I fell like that girl from a balance beam.
A gymnasium of eyes were all holding on to me. I lifted one foot to cross the other
and I felt myself slipping. It was a small mistake. Sometimes that is all it takes.
Now I'm staring at my wrist, hoping that the timing is right. When the planets will align.
There will be no planets to align. Just the carcass of the sun
and those little painted marbles spinning senseless through an endless black sky.
(and so it never started and it will never stop just like I am and you are)
It was in a foreign hotel's bathtub I baptized myself in change.
And one by one I drowned all of the people I had been.
I emerged to find the parallels were fewer. I was cleansed. I looked in the mirror
and someone new was there. Still, I was as helpless as a chess piece
when I was lifted up by someone's hand and delivered from the corner my enemies had got me in.
But in all of my salvation I still felt imprisoned inside that holding cell that is myself.
So I wait for the day when I'll hear the key as it turns in the lock
and the guard will say to me, "Oh my patient prisoner you have waited for this day
and finally you are free! You are free! You are freezing."
Now I'm staring at the sun, waiting for it to explode. Because a day is gonna come,
don't know when but it will come and then we will finally know the way out of here.
And I will throw away this wrinkled map and my chart of stars and compass, cracked.
And I'll climb out that tree all wet with sap to avoid the hungry beasts below.
I'll cut out my love's tongue and sing of a graveyard gray and a garden green
and then we won't have to worry no more. No we won't ever worry again about
how this song or story ends about how this song and story will end. |
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(1 stay | gold) |
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2marrowcoms2day's journal
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